I’m in a bad way, mentally. So much so, I’ve broken out in a rash all over, which has triggered my OCD. In all honesty, I’ve been questioning whether I should continue bothering to try and get well at all. It would be so much easier to just give up and end it all. They’re the kind of dark thoughts ruminating through my mind at the moment. I’m feeling incredibly alone and abandoned by someone I believed loved me. I’ve realized they were only using me to quell their own loneliness, with no regard for how it affected me. He was the man by all others were measured. Now, I just feel foolish and duped. My heart feels broken and aches for the moments…
Posts tagged “suicidal”
When you’re someone like myself, and have a finite number of close friends, losing one can be absolutely heartbreaking. Especially if that person knows all your most shameful neuroses and insane thoughts, it can feel like losing a limb. Suddenly, what you relied upon for the past decade and a half is no longer there to prop you up. I feel completely lost and grief stricken. To be honest, I didn’t think I could feel worse than I already did. I spent hours last night reading a website that detailed all the most lethal ways to take your own life because I felt so damn bad and yet, somehow tonight I feel even worse. I promised my Mum and my Shrink I wouldn’t do…
Tagged: Alcohol, Anxiety, Depression, friendship, hospital, relationships, sadness, suicidal, suicide
