Last night was a rough one, OCD wise. I found myself bombarded with thoughts of contamination and anxiety that I was diseased or might somehow become diseased. It’s difficult to articulate how overwhelming these thoughts can be. Last night, I found myself checking over and over again. It’s so fucking exhausting to be stuck in a loop of checking then freaking out then checking again. Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to be well again. I don’t know what I have to do to get control over this. I take a shitload of medication, I’ve put myself through ECT, I’ve done 4 stays at the Psych Hospital in the last 18 months…what more do I need to do to get better? Am I…