So I thought yesterday was my last ECT session but it turns out I have another in 2 weeks time. Yesterday’s was mortifying. I peed my pants during ECT. I don’t know if it was the anesthetic or the ECT itself that caused it but either way, I was incredibly embarrassed. The nurse offered me a pair of scrub pants but I thought the only thing more embarrassing than peeing my pants would be not fitting into the emergency scrubs. They looked small so I didn’t wanna take the chance of trying them on. Having them not fit would have been all I needed to cap off the day. Instead, she gave me a blanket to sit on until I went home. You can’t imagine the embarrassment I felt. The Nurse told me it’s common for people to pee themselves during ECT but I didn’t think it would happen to me. The next time the nurse asks if I need to pee before ECT, I’m going to to take her up on the offer just in case, regardless of whether I feel like I need to go or not. Why am I telling you this? Well I committed myself to telling the truth about the good and bad of my journey, and it would be remiss of me to leave it out.

I saw my Shrink after the procedure. He wants me to increase my Lithium in the hopes that it will help ward off the OCD that’s been looming of late. Some days, it takes up all of my focus and attention. I wish there was just an off switch for it. You’d think 7 or so ECT sessions I’ve had might have made it better but it’s not. On top of the OCD, my brain isn’t functioning as well as I’d like. ECT quite often just makes me incredibly confused and I ask the same questions over and over of people, which I’m sure is a pain in the ass if you’re the person I’m questioning. The other day, after ECT when I saw the Shrink he gave me 2 scripts and a pathology request for a blood test. For the life of me, I can’t remember where I put them. ECT brain strikes again. I’ll have to go out to the car in the morning to search for them. I’ll be fucked if they’re not there because my Shrink is going on holiday and won’t be contactable.

Anyway, I’m feeling under the weather so an early night is in order.