I had ECT this morning. I’m feeling fine now except for my wrist where the anesthetist put the cannula in hurts like a motherfucker. I think he blew out the vein there coz it hurt like hell when he did it and since I’ve got home the pain has just gotten worse. I made the mistake of leaving before my doctor had come to see me today which panicked the hospital. I felt like a little kid in trouble with the Principal the way the Nurse scolded me on the phone. Eventually my Doctor called and apologised for not coming to see me before I left which put me at ease a bit. I have my last ECT session next Wednesday. I can’t wait til it’s done. I’m over general anaesthetics and having to be at the hospital at 7am and feeling scrambled. I keep asking the same stuff of people all the time. My memory is shot, but apparently it will return. I’m glad I went ahead with it though. It hasn’t cured me or anything, but it has made me feel a little bit better, and I’m willing to take that. I did run into a few people this morning that I know so it was nice to catch up. I’ve been trying to remain mindful of keeping in touch with friends from hospital. I’m bad at just falling off the grid and letting friendships slide and I don’t want to let that happen because I’ve met some really awesome people through hospital this year and last. It’s awesome having friends who have similar mental health problems because they understand that it’s not personal if I don’t feel like talking. I’ve always had to explain myself in the past, and assure people it’s not personal, I just don’t feel good some days. These folks all get it. And these are people who have seen me at my worst when I’ve been hospitalized, no make up, wearing my PJ’s and no bra yet still want to be my friend. And what’s cool is that it’s not just one particular type of person I’ve made friends with. I have new friends that are my Dad’s age, girls in their 20’s, people my age, women in their fifties, people older than my grandparents… it’s been awesome to be exposed to so many different types of people all united by one shared trait, mental illness. We all just get one another in spite of how different we all are. I feel so lucky to have these people in my life now. It helps to make me feel less alone, which is a pretty common feeling when you live with mental illness. Sometimes you feel like nobody could ever understand. It’s nice to surround yourself with people who really *do* get it. If you ever feel alone, know that I’m here for you, just drop me a line.