Today’s ECT really knocked me around. When I was waking up from the anesthetic I was finding it hard to breathe properly. When I was finally awake enough to be moved out of the recovery room, I was so confused about where I was and what came next. I couldn’t remember what usually happened after ECT as an outpatient. When I looked in my phone to call my Dad to come and pick me up, I scrolled past peoples names that looked familiar but who I couldn’t really remember who they were. I really had to rely on the nurses to help me figure out what the hell was happening this morning. This is the first time I’ve felt like that post ECT. Normally I’m pretty aware and awake after treatment. The bit where I was tachycardic and having trouble breathing was really scary. I just wanted it to all be over and to be home again. I have to go back next Friday for one more treatment before my Shrink goes away on leave. The new medication seems to be working, or at least it’s not hurting, so that’s a positive.
I didn’t go get my hair done the other day because I couldn’t leave the house (was having a bad day), even to go somewhere I’m really familiar with. I’m going to try and go tomorrow, have my fringe fixed up and hair washed. I’m gonna get my nails done too. I’m feeling this purple glitter colour I’m rocking at the moment. I’m going on a first date soon so I wanna try and feel good about myself in preparation for it.
I just realised I forgot to ask my Shrink for some Panadeine Forte for my jaw pain post ECT. It hurts really badly after your teeth clench together during the seizure. I’m going to sit at the doctors at about 4.30 and wait and see if someone can see me for five minutes just to write me a script. In the meantime, I’m going to snuggle with Bea kitty and try and stay warm.