I went for outpatient ECT today. I arrived at the hospital in my PJ’s at 7am and sat around in the waiting room for about half an hour chillin’ til my turn. I was the only dickhead in PJ’s. Note to self: Wear clothes next time. I made sure to remind the anesthetist that I’m a post general anesthetic spewer so he hooked me up with some good antiemetics and took note of my porcelain veneer. I actually remember feeling the anesthetic hit me today. Normally, I’m out like a light but this time I had a few moments of that delightful warm feeling before you pass out. My doctor and I talked afterwards about whether I feel it’s helping me, and I said I’d felt a bit under the weather since I arrived home, so he wants to do another ECT treatment on Friday, so today’s treatment and Friday’s will be closer together, and then another on Monday or Wednesday. I can’t remember which he said coz I’d just come out of treatment and my brain doesn’t work properly afterwards. It’s like it totally breaks my memory. Everything seems like it happened a month or more ago and I can just barely remember bits and pieces of it.

I had a snooze on the couch when I got home, then nearly fainted afterwards when I was changing the cat litter. I must have lifted my head too quickly or my blood pressure must have been low. After ECT it normally sits somewhere around 80/60, where my regular blood pressure is generally 130/70. Thankfully, my old man was home so he found  me on the floor nearly passed out and brought me some wet paper towel to cool my forehead down and told me to go lay down on my bed which I did for an hour or so while I watched The Golden Girls. The Girls fix everything.

Tomorrow I’m going to go buy a card and some chocolates for the nurses who looked after me in hospital. They all do such a tough job. Psych nursing must be such a hard gig some days, but they all do it so well. And they never made me feel like I was asking too much or was a burden to them, so I want to show them how much I appreciate it. Maybe I might get them some flowers that they can put at the nurses station. After that, I’m going to get a haircut, just a wash and trim and thinned out a bit. Just so I feel a bit better about myself. Nothing like processing some gratitude and gettin’ a haircut to make yourself feel brighter.

What are you feeling grateful for? It doesn’t have to be anything major. Often times it’s the little things that make the most impact. I’m curious to know what it is for you?