A week from today will be my first ECT treatment. I’ll wake up at 7am and stay in my PJ’s until someone brings a wheelchair to my room to take me down to the the rooms where they perform the treatment. I think you go to the end of the list, the newer you are so I could even be waiting til 11 without anything to eat or drink, which if you know me, you will understand how hangry this will make me. Oh, and no smoking prior to treatment! Good god man, what more do they want from me? No breakfast and no smoking make Prue go something something. Crazy? Don’t mind if I do!
I’m feeling really off kilter this morning. Melancholic.
Oh, well that explains it. I just got my period, right after I wrote that. That’s probably why I was feeling more sensitive than I usually am. I mean, I’m usually pretty sensitive but during my period, even more so. No wonder I worked myself up into a huge crying fit this morning over an email exchange with a friend. I take people’s judgements and opinions of me very seriously. Probably more than is healthy. It’s difficult being an empath at times. It’s my greatest strength but my weakest failing. I know a lot of other empaths who become emotional over things that regular types wouldn’t think twice about. I guess I’m just highly attuned to other people’s emotional frequencies, and let it affect me greatly. When someone’s annoyed or angry, I reflect it. If someone’s sad or down, I reflect that too. Combine that with the reassurance seeking that OCD makes me perform, and you have an annoying “Are we okay?” “Are you mad with me?” series of questions that must drive people crazy.
I just got home from my ECG and my chest xray the ECT doctor needs before they can perform the ol’ zappity doodah on the noggin next week. I think it’s just so if I drop dead they can say the performed the appropriate tests beforehand. There’s nothing more fun than laying half naked on a table in front of a 66 year old woman as she tapes electrodes to your breasts. That said, most action I’ve had in a while.
Take care of yourselves.